I have been in Jerusalem now for nearly 6 weeks. Every day on my way to and from Hebrew University on Mount Scopus I can see the old city and the Dome of the Rock glinting at me. I think about the Jews, Muslims, and Christians praying and living observant lives and I understand why. I don't think it's silly, outdated, or irrational, but I do wonder why I am not following in their footsteps.

I do not dismiss the bible as pure myth, fantasy, or a pile of contradictions (not the Torah, "T'nach", or "Old Testament" anyway - I'm not interested in the Koran or New Testament). I have read the Torah and parts of the Psalms and Prophets and commentaries and there are many positive ideas about how to live one's life. There are also strange, foreign, and ridiculous ideas that I believe need to be thought about and challenged. However, they don't suggest to me that the whole thing is a worthless.

The missing piece for me is the lynch pin. I have trouble accepting that the bible is God-given. Without that piece of faith, the book is no more than a collection of stories and wisdom that one can do with as one wishes. I have met enough rabbi's and other observant, "God fearing" people to see the lovely lives they lead as observant Jews. There is truly something special about their lives that I have yet to see in a secular environment.

I am searching for faith.